#i don't know what it'll mean for me. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sciderman · 8 months ago

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I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.

#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before #and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.”#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed #and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way #i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think #i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks

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nostalgebraist · 2 days ago

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Due to recent experiences, I am feeling an urge to make an anti-drug-style PSA except it's warning impressionable machine-learning-curious teens to never, ever try a thing called "Huggingface transformers Trainer"

Not. Even. Once.

#and don't even get me started on “unsloth”#this week i learned what “unsloth” actually does when you import it and... man.#i thought i'd seen the worst of “hacky brittle 'it-just-works' (by doing the most cursed shit imaginable) ML python code” but no.#no. unsloth was Worse #and huggingface Trainer is bad enough by itself #did you know it has 131 (one hundred and thirty one!) config arguments and yet it cannot log *more than one loss number at once*#(for like multitask training or whatever)#i don't just mean it's hard to do - i mean its logging mechanism is built from the ground up on the assumption you would never do this.#you'd have to rewrite a bunch of internals to get it working - i.e. basically write a new nontrivial feature on HF's behalf #and just writing your own damn training loop is easier than that lol #it's not that hard kids. take it from me. dataset + dataloader + model(*args) + loss.backward() + opt.step() + opt.zero_grad(). that's it #it'll take you 30 minutes and save you a billion hours down the road #i do not understand computers #(is a category tag)

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thelaurenshippen · 1 year ago

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ah yes, the sweet sting of rejection from a billion dollar corporation who believes that "action stories don't appeal to romance audiences", welcome back my old familiar friend

#personal #lauren writes things #this was the EXACT problem I ran into with my gay outlaw story #and why I was just like FINE IT WON'T BE SCRIPTED IT'LL BE A BOOK #(and I mean who knows if it'll sell as a book)#(but it was NOT selling as a podcast)#how do I tell these companies that there's a whole website of people who love both action and romance #how do I explain that these people pull ships from the barest two second looks in action movies “aimed at men”#it's the conflation of romance = ladies and action = men for me #that's what really makes me roll my eyes #companies being like 'sorry lauren we just don't think people really into romance are into action'#HI I'M SITTING RIGHT HERE YOU'RE TALKING TO ME #my favorite movie is mad max and most of what I read is romance #I play violent action video games and I have a pathological need to ship #we exist #and we are legion #ANYWAY #might delete later #lauren says things

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000marie198 · 10 months ago

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...

Permission to smack Sonic over the head?

#don't get me wrpng. i love him. he's my son #but... he is being... SO DARN STUPID #like bro. this isn't how you'll convince him #i know u mean well but this isn't the correct way to do what you're trying to do it'll just make things worse #sonic the hedgehog #sonic #sth #miles tails prower #nine the fox #prime sonic #tails nine #sonic prime sonic #sonic prime #sonic prime spoilers #sonic prime s3 spoilers #sonic prime s3 #sonic prime season 3 #sonic prime season three #sonic liveblog

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bumpscosity · 8 months ago

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the stanley parable merch is so funny im really gonna drop 20 bucks on a cassette tape which i dont even have a player for that tells you how to set up a copy machine that doesn't exist

#save with the vinyl i already bought the soundtrack and i don't have a record player but im still gonna pay 50 bucks for it #it'll look nice on my wall.#sassy speaks #tsp #i'm gonna get the deluxe physical copy bc stickers and manual but i lowkey want those art cards too #i'm NOT buying 2 physical copies dw #however i do have both a ps5 and a switch...... my need to foplete collections is destroying me /j #for real tho i'm not getting it twice 💀#i mean since i have it on pc this is technically the second time but YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN #tspud

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quinloki · 8 months ago

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Canon Characters vs OC vs x Reader

Disclaimer: This is just my two cents, and my perspective on things, and I'm not trying to lay down the law for everyone. I needed to just put this to words though, in order to sleep.

I was thinking about this because of a post I saw, and some, we'll say, kind of useless comments associated with the post. Mean-spirited stuff.

Normally, in one ear and out the other, but the vibes just kicked me off down a rabbit hole of sorts an I wanted to try to put some of my thoughts to words.

First, some style vibes:

Canon x Canon Canon/Canon stories are, to me, like reading an episode of that show. I'm sitting down in front of a TV or whatever, and I'm experiencing the story As A Viewer. I like this style because I don't really have to expend much energy and I just kind of roll with whatever's happening. Generally some sort of 3rd person perspective.

OC x canon OC/Canon stories are like being on a carnival ride. I'm sitting in a car on a roller-coaster, and maybe the OC is sitting next me. I'm experiencing the story more deeply than strictly canon stories, but my connection with the OC is no deeper than say, my connection with Katniss Everdeen when I read The Hunger Games. Sometimes 3rd person, sometimes first person.

Reader x canon Reader/Canon (or Reader x/ OC) is like putting on a VR helmet. I don't get much physical input about the "Reader OC" because I'm experiencing the story through their eyes. I don't expect the reader to be me, but there's a bigger feeling of immersion to be had. Some description might happen cause it's relevant to the story, and it's still a type of ride, I can't jump the rails on the roller coaster, after all. (Even with a VN you still follow the tracks). Sometimes first person, sometimes second person (I'm partial to 2nd person perspective, but that's just me).

I love Fan Fiction, I love it. All of it, and man even more than anything, what I love is that I'm going to dislike 80% of it. Because that 80% was written for someone who is not me. (Hell, that number's probably closer to 99% if we're looking at ALL fandoms, but I digress).

Second - The VENT:

What got me the most in the post that prompted this, was someone saying "Bring back the Mary Sue OCs!" and then they went on to describe something more detailed, and I just -

Look, respectfully, fuck you.

The point is, you're not going to be happy no matter what. Whether it's "mary sue" OCs, or x readers, or alternative universes, or a ship you don't like, you're going to find something to be unhappy about.

Cause people have been bitching about all styles of fan fiction since the first "You've Got Mail" chimed in 1991. And until 1998 and ff.net you really had to hunt for it, and until 2007 and Ao3 the idea of tagging a fic for any reason wasn't really a thing. Every click was a surprise! \o/

I just have seen the same song and dance a dozen times. It's exhausting. People become okay with OCs and decide x readers are the enemy, and before that OCs were *all* Mary Sues and cringe and people who made OCs were the enemy, and before OCs people who wrote even a little OOC were the enemy, and people who wrote AUs were the enemy, and you can write fan fic but it HAS to be Canon Compliant, and everyone MUST be in-character at all times - "They would not fucking say that" was the enemy.

Look, just please - please - in any capacity, stop it with the "All X style of story telling is crap" mindset. There's over a dozen different ways to do x readers alone. I know 20 x reader writers and I don't think any of us have the same style, preferences, or vibes.

I've had a lot of comments along the lines of "I thought I hated x readers, but I really loved this." on a few different fics I've written. Sometimes it's not the style of the fic, sometimes it's the style of the writer, and my Brother In Christ - you're going to have to read some awful shit to shuffle through the thousands of writers out there to find the vibes that resonate with you.

Ostracizing entire swathes of fan fic because you need something to be "The Enemy" so you can lift up something else, and then bitching you can't find anything new to read seems like a personal problem.

And I know y'all are scrolling by TONS of posts that don't interest you, every day, as a matter of course. So don't give me that "clogging up the tag" BS, because we deserve to be here same as anyone else in the fandom.

#quin grumbles #I'm so aggravated I don't even really know how to tag this #like almost 30 years of it I'm just so done #I just wonder what amazing stories we're not getting #cause of some fucker using Mary Sue to belittle someone #or someone beating someone else over the head with plot armor because their protag survived something terrible?#How many “Oh.” moments have been missed because someone criticized the very concept of reader insert?#I'm way past my usual bedtime so I'm just rambling at this point #and I am being meaner than I'd like #but JFC #I'm not going to let people's bullshit opinions stop me or anyone else from writing if I can avoid it.#Write what you want #gush about it #talk about it #TELL ME ABOUT IT #IDGAF if it's cringe or overpowered or broken or flawless or an OC or a reader with a name or WHATEVER #If it brings you joy #then do it #and if people are too mean to scroll by it when it's not their thing #and then complain like they're entitled to do so #block 'em.#and tell me who they are so I can block them too #then write more #cause I promise it'll bring someone else joy too

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djappleblush · 6 months ago

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There's not enough Joel Miller fanfics on the internet and it's so fvcking annoying I need more protective angsty angry nervous shy tender gentle dominant capable daddy Joel Miller in my life 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#I mean I could write more but I'm not very familiar with the tlou universe #it'll require me to watch the series and know the games and stuff #arrrggghhhh #this is what happens when I get interested in ONE damn character and start reading sh!t made for them #I started with ONE Joel Miller fanfic #just one ok???#and then I fell into this rabbit hole with no escape #I became obsessed with Joel and now I don't know what I'm going to do without him #fvcking send help!!!!!#the last of us #joel miller #fanfics #writer problems #pedro pascal

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jabeur · 1 month ago

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Right, and the racism from other players is ALWAYS excused by fans. I didn't even know about that caroline photo until you brought it up, people just pretend it never happened. And Paula's photo a couple of days ago? She "apologised" and under her post there were HUNDREDS of replies from white people saying that "all was forgiven" "she didn't do anything wrong" and her acting like the victim under those replies. AND!! I was so confused this morning about WHY the crowd in Wuhan (one the most polite crowds ever) would boo Magda Linette, and look what I found on twitter https://x.com/snack_attacck/status/1843536512765288484?t=BawWaz85WH-KbgLd_8R-xA&s=19😭 like why is this shit so normalized, they bury these things so much nobody even knows about it, but god forbid a chinese woman was focused on herself during her game

of COURSE paula was acting like the victim once other white people started showering her with support and excuses for her behavior. rancid. god how hard can it be to know that we are not the ones who should accept or not her apology anyway???? are we asian? are we the ones affected by her racist behavior? no! so we need to just shut the fuck up. (i'm saying we as in me and other white people, obviously i don't know if you're white anon)

goddddd that linette thing is nasty 😭😭 i didn't know about this. bc yeah, these things are never talked about!!! usually these racist behaviors from players are brought up on twitter by someone and then if it spreads maybe people remember for 2 days and then go back to pretending nothing happened. but it's important to hold these players accountable so these shouldn't be things only discussed/shared on twitter by a few fans who care these should be widely known bc why are we letting racists get away with it so easily??

but, as you said, if a chinese woman is gasps focused on her own game as a tennis - notorious solitary sport - player.... unacceptable. bc obviously not smiling at your opponents is much worse than, say, disrespecting an entire culture or race. /s

#this world is rotten. let's fucking talk about racism. let's shame these racist assholes to the moon and back #asks #anon #it always bothers me that not using twitter anymore i miss these things often #or like if i don't follow someone specific on ig i don't see some shit #like aaaaa why aren't these things talked abt WIDELY!!! and yes i mean even tennis journalists and pundits and whatnot #it's really sickening to me that many things not related to tennis aren't considered worthy to be discussed when they're talking about #a player. bc no. i think knowing if someone is racist or homotransphobic or an abuser IS important. if i liked this player i'd rather know #that they hold values or do things that i strongly disagree with #i don't fucking care. to me it'll never just be about the sport. sport doesn't exist in a vacuum #who a person is and what they believe in matters. and i will always stand by that #so when commentators during zverev matches don't mention his dv shit not even close to trials? that's wrong. to me that's wrong #and it's double clear that it's wrong bc i watched a qinwen match after one of navarro's comments (the one during the olympics)#and the commentators talked about it! so why is that important to talk about but when a white player insults an entire race that's not?#pray tell. you might say the qinwen thing is more related to tennis eh whatever so is insulting a culture or race that your fellow players #are a part of. bc again sport doesn't exist in a vacuum they don't just hit balls and none of it has consequences on life things #whatever. idk if i explained myself well i am getting dressed while i type fifvjdvj

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freakwiththeknifecollection · 1 year ago

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The sick feeling you get in your stomach as an undiagnosed/closeted autistic hearing friends/loved ones make fun of or talk about "what's wrong with" the openly autistic people you know

#sometimes I think about telling certain people and then I'm reminded why I shouldn't <3 #em rambles #autism #autistic #actually autistic #autistic things #ableism #even the people who do know are still iffy sometimes like you may think 'I usually don't get along with autistic people' is a compliment bu #it just makes me uncomfortable lmao #idk it's just like. yeah I don't 'seem' autistic with great intentionality around certain people because they've shown #me how unsafe it is lmao #I just hate that people think you're just quirky and different until you put the autistic label on it then there's something WRONG with you #or say you couldn't be autistic because there's nothing WRONG with you you're not THAT bad you're not LIKE THAT #I mean like. ideally I would like me telling people to expand people's ideas of what an autistic person looks/acts like but the sad reality #is that it'll just end in either disbelief or bullying #most likely #you know in ratatouille when remi thinks humans aren't so bad and then his dad shows him that shop with the dead rats and rat poison and #traps and the next morning remi tries walking down the street and people scream and throw stuff at him and call rats disgusting creatures #and he says 'I was reminded how fragile it all was'#that's the vibe as a closeted autistic lmao #you find people who accept you and think maybe it's not that dangerous. maybe it'd be okay #and then other people remind you why you mask in the first place #my autism is the rat hiding inside my hat

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girlthativealwaysbeen · 1 month ago

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pata hai i was looking through your chats on whatsapp to find your vdn ka address and i found a text ss from him that i sent you and it was something like unfortunately i'm not there but i do love you and i read that and had to sprint across the living room after reading that i can't believe it still affects me wtffffff when will it be overrrrrr i blocked him in august it should be over by now right

oh no😭 it's only been 3 months babe aur time lagega he was your childhood friend na and ahem

#your first kiss too and like first love i guess? i mean i know you don't call it love but #bohot saare mahino tak it will feel like what the fuck this is too much im never going to move on and then suddenly it'll be months #and you will have not thought about him and you'll see something that reminds you of him and you won't feel that stab in chest #you'll just feel bittersweet fondness #believe taylor if not me dancing to i forgot that you existed in the shower is like sooooooo healing #saumyuuuuuu #you won't believe it but i JUST opened tumblr to post about something like this wait

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emieclat · 1 year ago

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while rereading scarlet i started picturing sophia lillis as thorne for some reason. so here are some doodles of that vision

(this is the scene where cinder plugs iko into the rampion)

#emieclat #the lunar chronicles #linh cinder #carswell thorne #no sophia lillis has nothing in common with thorne #she is not blond or tall and she's never played in a cool suave role before #but some descriptions in this chapter just made me go huh #in particular there was a bit where it describes thorne as standing in the doorway stiff and uncomfortable like the ship was being haunted-#-by a poltergeist #and i mean. stiff and uncomfortable is basically sophia's whole deal in i am not okay with this #and yes. that was the only reason i got this vision #what would girl!thorne's first name be though #carswell is a boy's name and as far as i can tell there isn't a girl equivalent #i mean. personally i could still stick with carswell just cos it's fun #but it'll be interesting to dig into the etymology and think of other potential names #(for those who don't know: carswell means 'well where watercress grows')#(and watercress? cress? you know? and the original rapunzel was named after a similar lettuce to watercress?)#(and rampion is also a rapunzel? you see how it all ties together)

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raiiny-bay · 11 months ago

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my favorite edits - 2023 edition 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9

#ts4 #simblr #once again i don't know how to tag this so...#i'm just gonna use the same tags i used last year ig #2023 was apparently the year of the monster boyz #only 3 of these are not mb posts & i'm ok with that actually #ik i've said it a million times already but #i had soooo much fun doing mb stuff this year!#i'm really excited about all the stuff i have planned for the AU tbh #like. i have a list #i'm hoping................... to get the origin stories done at some point.#probably gonna do some writing here soon ish.#i've gotta make all of the side characters still & finish the character page so idk. i'll figure it out. i have a lot of ideas #i really wanna start sharing more about the story & the boys' actual personalities so that's probably what i'll focus on this next year #edit-wise i mean. like doing lore edits & stuff. idk #making cricket's was really fun so i think i'll like making stuff for everyone else too #i just have to not try to do a whole story bc then i'll lose interest. it'll be like the degenerates all over again lmao #idk why i just hate making story posts #lore posts are fine but story posts? mm no. not for me. idk how but they are different in my brain ok #n e way #i rambled. sorry. bye lol

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hearts-hunger · 2 months ago

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might burst into tears at work idk

#i feel so miserable #my boss sent me a long email getting me in trouble for wearing the school uniform sweatshirt that the students wear #apparently when i wear it it means i'm being disrespectful and casual and misrepresenting the school #and i talked to my coworkers about it and they all agree it's ridiculous but there's nothing we can do about it #because our boss is a very particular boomer who makes his opinions law and also can't stand when women stand up to him #i wanted to email him back and push back on it but my coworkers said basically to let it go because it's no use and it'll iust piss him off #but i hate breaking rules. i wouldn't have worn it if i'd known it was a rule #so i feel like a fucking idiot and i'm also mad because it's a stupid rule and i hate the way my boss bullies me #but i don't know what to do. i like my job and i love my kids but i hate my boss #i just want to cry #and the thing is every coworker i talk to agree that he's a miserable old boomer who hates women #but they always excuse him? or just give up and lay down and die? i want to push back on the bastard #and at least let him know that one person (someone he doesn't value: a young woman) is not going to back down to him #i don't know. i'm so upset. i don't know what to do #and it feels stupid to be so upset but this is just the most recent in a long line of bs i've dealt with from him #so i'm just. miserable :)

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fluffle-writes · 6 months ago

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I wanna. Pick them up in my mouth and shake 'em around like a dog obliterating a squeaky toy

#you can tag anyone you feel this way about but I was thinking about Rook hunt in particular #tbh I feel like he'd picture the same - just with Vil and Neige #he wanta his oshis to be besties (he is just lime me fr) (just a liiiittle furyher frim reality)#(I view neigexVil as nore of a crackship until we get more Neige development/lore)#(our queen Vil doesn't deserve to be genuinely shipped with someone who's kinda 2D rn.#But I respect people who flesh out neige with headcanons - they write the dynamics realy well tbh)#(hopefully we get more RSA development at some point I think that'd be cool)#(plus I'd cry if TWST just. stopped. after the last NRC OB)#(I mean it'd make sense aince that's where the story is based and it'll probably end once Yuu finds a way home #- which feels close now thanks to Ortho)#(But at the same time I. have been following this since it first came out when I was about 16 - same age as the first year squad lol)#(and I feel like it'd feel weird if we stopped getting main story updates)#(Im rambling a LOT lol - probably because I'm tipsy haha)#(hope someone can relate to my lamenting of future woes though)#(Oh well - I should atop borrowing sorrow from the future and live joyfully with the now)#(I do miss my friends who've stopped being in the fandom though - and my friends who deactivated and idk how to contact now)#(sugarandmelody... zacrazyvalentine... I miss them. but we had fun #writing and stuff. and I suppose that's what matters in the end. that we had fun.)#at least - I hope they had fun too. and I kinda hope they think about me how I think of them sometimes.#have a nice day if you're reading this. I rambled in the tags a while and I understand that it's kinda long lol.#and probably riddled with typos #I'm tearing up for some reason haha. well it is what it is #I hope each and every one of my followers know how amazing they are - I hope y'all have a wonderful day - evening - or night #I wish I could hug people across the internet lol #I should stop posting on tumblr while drinky haha #tw drunk #tw drinking #i'll tag it just in case #don't wanna cause discomfort and stuff

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sysig · 9 months ago

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"...we could just run away somewhere, the two of us.” (Patreon)

Too many for a single photoset, but since these are a bit on the scribbly side I didn’t want to split them up either ♪ Enjoy the added commentary!

Couple’a cut panels, Max is reacting to Dexter putting his plans in motion here

Very inspired from the ever-so-slightly earlier scene in Helix of Max covering his ears to block out Dexter’s call ♥ Even when things are going his way it’s too overwhelming!

*Summer home. I forgot what he referred to it as lol

Can’t be a meeting if you just ditch entirely!

Surprised by this turn of events, just keeps getting better and better

Of course he had to say something and make Dex mad again haha ♪

Unfortunately his dialogue here was a little too silly for being high and sad and stressed so I had to move it, but he still turned out cute so here it is instead!